My Story

I stood screaming with terror as I watched the light lift out of my son's body as he died. I pleaded for him to come back, and I heard him say directly to me, "Mom, I have to go for us all." I knew in that instant that my personal loss was part of a collective movement to expand the consciousness of our world.  That light-filled moment of death was simultaneously the most agonizing and transcendent experience of my life. I encountered the power of Expanded States of Consciousness for transformation and growth.

I was a seasoned meditator, intuitive practitioner and psychotherapist, and these skills and experience supported me to know that my state of awareness when my son died was more than grief or trauma. It was similar to my experience almost 8 years earlier when 6 red-tailed hawks visited me for 10 days, and I experienced a rapid spiritual awakening. 

However, despite being well-trained and experienced in both transpersonal, psychological and spiritual methods and theories, I was unprepared for the raw rendering that leveled me after he died. In the months and years following his death, I experienced what every mother who has lost a child goes through. There was a primal agony that shattered me, and grief ripped through me that left me gasping for breath. I experienced the tragic beauty of love and loss.

As I navigated grief, suffering, and trauma, I noticed that I was leaning into some methods that I had learned years ago and was rediscovering them anew as a way to stay present in my suffering.

First, I taught breathwork for stress reduction class at a community college in my early 20s. All of a sudden, I was returning to the box breath and breath holds to support myself when I would cry. Second, I learned how to meditate when I was 15, and the first form I learned was mantra meditation. I began to repeat simple words, like ‘allow’ or ‘stay’ when the grief was overwhelming. Third, I found immense comfort in sitting in front of our wood stove and gazing into the fire or at the altar we created for him on the mantle. Over time, I would notice sharpening and softening my gaze when I felt most alone, which I had learned how to do through dristi for balance during my yoga practice of over 20 years.

I practiced versions of these three methods, and I discovered that I would enter an Expanded State of Consciousness. In that state, I would feel my son again and got what I longed for. I found interconnection with him/others, which gave me a feeling of purpose and a broader perspective. I experienced a reciprocal relationship with multi-dimensional awareness. Interconnection tempered my grief and helped me grow beyond it. 

For years, I knew the power of Expanded States of Consciousness for personal and collective transformation and as a method to facilitate interconnection with the many realms around us. It was new for me to induce Expanded States on my own and in such a straightforward way. I experienced transformation. I felt alive again. I perceived a meta-purpose in the loss. I sensed my grief was moving toward something beyond me. I felt lighter and connected with the spiritual support around me. 

Breakthroughs are born in loss. I slowly received a cohesive method for Expanding States of Consciousness—one that was highly accessible and easily replicable. I began testing this method and watched others reflect on a similar experience of transcending limitations and manifesting divine purpose. 

I welcome you to experience an ESC, whether alone or in a group. An Expanded State of Consciousness can give you the perspective and purpose you need to grow beyond whatever you think you can't get over and live into what your heart most desires. 

In summary, my personal story informs my intentional and powerful presence with you in my work. I am a transpersonal spiritual guide and intuitive practitioner. I draw on over 20 years of professional experience as a licensed psychotherapist, ordained minister, chaplain, spiritual teacher, and spiritual guide. I am a Ph.D. student in Psychology with a focus on Consciousness, Spirituality, and Integrative Health.